The Sanctity of Marriage
A Message from Senior Pastor Rev. Lea Brown
“Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and woman. I will work…to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage.” – President George W. Bush, 2003
The ink is barely dry on the recent decision from the California Supreme Court that legalized marriage between same-gendered couples, and already the opposition is mobilizing to reverse this historic civil rights victory. Plans are under way for a proposed amendment to California’s constitution that would bar same-sex couples from getting married, which would overturn this bold decision from the Court.
Some conservative activists charge that the Supreme Court essentially ignored the will of the majority, who supposedly are against gay marriage. Anger directed toward “judicial activism” is likely to be one of the primary arguments used to spur politically conservative voters to the polls in November, even though six of seven justices were Republican appointments. However, we can be sure that in the months ahead another impassioned plea will be repeatedly trumpeted to specifically mobilize religious conservatives: the “sanctity of marriage” battle cry.
From leaders and followers on the Religious Right: “Only love between a man and a woman is sacred!” From our nation’s highest elected official, speaking in the White House Rose Garden: “Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and woman.”
While our President should probably remain focused on the more than 4,000 American casualties in Iraq and our increasingly faltering economy, it is a pretty safe bet that 2003 will not be the last time he—or the 2008 standard-bearer for his party--makes a pledge to defend the “sanctity of marriage.”
Over and over again between now and November, we will hear that religious people of all stripes are organizing to stand together to protect the sacred, venerable institution of marriage from the evils of same-sex love. What we probably won’t hear much about is that there are millions of people of faith in the U.S. who have a very different idea about what is “sacred” and what comprises the “sanctity of marriage.”
All across our country today, people of all sexual orientations and all faith traditions are tired of having “sacred” defined in a selfish, exclusionary manner. Millions of people from all the major world religions place selfless love at the center of life and believe we are created in the image of the Divine for one purpose: to love one another. We are the people who believe that love cannot be contained or defined by the limits of human understanding.
We are the people of many religious traditions who believe that this is what makes marriage sacred: Creating a home together. Working long hours and saving together to send your children to college. Sharing a meal with chosen family around the dinner table you have set together. Holding hands and praying together in worship. Providing loving care in your home together for aging parents. Staying by the bedside of your spouse who is dying from cancer or AIDS. Sharing joys and sorrows together one day, one year, one decade at a time.
Nowhere in our definition of “sacred” will you find the need for opposite sets of genitals, but you will find all of the essential ingredients of selfless love: compassion, kindness, patience, courage, commitment, passion, and joy. This is the “sanctity of marriage” that progressive people of faith stand for and believe is the divinely-ordained birthright of all human beings, regardless of sexual orientation or faith tradition.
Dozens upon dozens of progressive groups from many religions--Mennonite to Muslim to my own denomination, Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC) – were listed in the Court’s decision as supporting marriage equality. At MCC San Francisco, we have been defending our idea of the “sanctity of marriage” by proudly performing weddings for same-gender couples since 1973. And members of our congregation and clergy were there at City Hall in 2004, boldly standing up once again for the “sanctity of marriage” following the courageous actions of Mayor Gavin Newsom. And now we are making plans to provide wedding services for many of the lesbian and gay couples who are already lining up to get married once the decision goes into effect.
We will be praying that all couples who so desire will get their chance at legal matrimony, and that the proposed amendment to bar same-gender marriage in California will die a definitive death once and for all this November. With progressive people of faith of all traditions, we will fight any attempt to limit the definition of “sacred” to only one group of people. When the media talks about the religious response to the Court ruling, progressive religious voices and beliefs will be there to defend compassion and social justice for all of God’s children.
And in the meantime, we will keep on doing what we have always done: celebrating and blessing the love between those who come to MCC to get married, no matter what their gender. We will always support the sacred institution of marriage in its most inclusive form, just as we have been doing for 35 years. The only difference is that now, thanks to this historic decision, our joyous defense of the true “sanctity of marriage” will be accompanied by a license from the great State of California .
Rev. Lea Brown is the Senior Minister of the Metropolitan Community Church of San Francisco.